Marriage, Marriage is What Brings Us Together Today

 

So if you didn't get this from the title today we are going to be talking about marriage. I'm not married but as far as I understand marriage is something that can be pretty hard to adjust to. It's a big change that can happen in your life. So how does one properly prepare for it? Can you even prepare for it? What are some steps that one can take?

In one of my classes this week we were talking about how the way you date can directly relate to what happens to your relationship once you are married. We were talking about specific steps that one should take before they marry someone and even the steps one can take once they are married. I am going to share these four phases with you and explain how they can help you understand important things to do when preparing to be married. So the four steps are Dating, Courtship, Engagement, and Marriage. So you might be thinking right now "Hanna these are just four steps that people normally do before they get married. Why do I need to worry about how they are done? Will it really affect it that much?" The concern isn't really what they are, it's how you do them. You see, in today's world we tend to skip some of these crucial events. We don't really take each individual step. These days we don't really date as much, we kind of just hang out with people until we decide that we like one, then go straight into the courtship phase. But the courtship phase has also changed, even though the couple didn’t really get to know each other while they were dating the courtship still proceeds rather quickly. With more trust given than maybe should be. There is more physical touch involved than when the couple is dating but it is still fairly easy to break off this courtship. Then once you have decided that you both love each other you move right into engagement. The engagement phase is supposed to be a time when you learn to plan and cooperate with one another. Instead it usually ends up being something that mostly the woman plans and she becomes close to her family rather than her soon to be husband. Then a couple jumps into marriage and they have a major adjustment of living with each other. They have to adjust drastically to their new lives together and try to learn to work together. This can be a really hard adjustment because the people may realize that they haven't discussed very many things and may not like some of the standards or living habits of the other person. This may cause them to think that they don't know the person and that maybe they didn't love them. There is still hope however, you just need to have a little patience as well as be willing to compromise.

So what do you do if you are already married. If you are struggling in your relationship and haven't figured out how to fix it yet? Well there can always be hope. If you are both willing to work through your differences I at least believe that you will be able to find a solution. One point my professor made was to go on dates every single week as a married couple. I think this is really interesting and kind of strange for what our society often thinks today. We often think that once you are married you don't have to worry as much about getting to know each other and going on dates. My professor said that dating has helped he and his wife solidify their relationship and allowed them to get to know each other better throughout the course of their marriage. They always took time to focus on each other and take time for themselves and for their relationship even when life was busy. This was something that really seemed to help them. If you are religious another thing that may help is to pray for each other. To pray for the desire to love each other and to be able to compromise and help one another as well as help your relationship. As I said before I'm not married nor have I dated much so I wouldn't say that I am an expert in this topic but I can see how these techniques could help one to create a growth minded and lasting relationship. I hope you enjoyed it and feel free to comment your thoughts below!